Saturday, October 4, 2014

week one

Dave and I were just talking about how we've never had a week go by so quickly in our lives.  We definitely had a roller coaster week, with the best high ever of meeting our sweet baby boy to the lowest low at our postnatal checkup just four days after he arrived.

Our first full day with Holden was full of visitors.  He got to meet his grandparents,aunt, uncles, cousin, and friends.

Our second night in the hospital, Holden and I sat up together for awhile as he tried to fall asleep.  Dave was sleeping so it was just him and I hanging out together and I had my "falling in love" moment with Holden.  I think everything had been such a blur up until that point that it was my first chance to just let it really sink in that he was here and he is ours.

We were discharged from the hospital around noon on Friday.  Friday and most of Saturday were pretty good.  Saturday afternoon hit and Holden just wasn't content.  He was pretty fussy off and on all afternoon.  That night was a rough one as he wanted to breastfeed most of the night.  No matter how long we tried to feed, he was just never happy.  Sunday morning was awful as he screamed most of the morning.  We knew that something just wasn't right and I told Dave I didn't think my milk was in.  We had a postpartum appointment at the hospital at 1 that afternoon.  I couldn't handle the screaming anymore so about 12:30 we packed up to head to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, I told the nurse that I didn't think my milk had come in yet because no matter how much Holden would feed, he wasn't happy with what he was getting.  She told me that it should have came in the day before and went about asking me questions about my recovery.  When we got to Holden's part of the appointment, she weighed him and saw that he weighed 8 lbs. 3 oz. - almost a full pound less than his birth weight of 9 lbs. 2 oz.  I about died, I felt so bad that our baby had been starving for days.  I also had jaundice that had seemed to be getting worse as the days went by.  His poor little eyes were so yellow.  The nurse had me try to nurse to show her how he was latching on, and he was just so over trying to nurse by that time that he would barely latch on before he'd start screaming.  We reweighed him and he'd taken in 0.4 of an ounce of milk.  He pretty much passed out after that because he was so content from getting just that small amount of milk.  The nurse left to call his doctor to fill him in.  The doctor said he wanted us to supplement with formula until my milk came in.  He also had to have his bilirubin level checked since his jaundice looked worse.  The level came back at 14.9 which was borderline.  We scheduled an appointment for the next day to recheck his weight and bili level.  We left the hospital a little after 4 o'clock for an appointment that was suppose to take less than an hour.

The rest of the day was better for Holden as he actually got something in his little tummy to eat.  I, however, was a mess the rest of the day knowing that our baby had been starving for so long.  I still can't even talk about it without tears.

We went to the hospital the next day and had a much better visit.  His bilirubin level had dropped down to 11.4 and his weight was up 4 ounces.  I worked with a lactation consultant for awhile while at the hospital as we tried to figure out why my milk wasn't coming in and options moving forward with breastfeeding.  I decided that I would pump and give Holden whatever I could with a bottle and continue with the formula.

The rest of the week was much less eventful, thankfully, as we settled in to life with Holden.

family picture on Holden's 1 week birthday :o)

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